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Handling Strong Emotions in Mediation, in Yourself and Others

  • 18 Aug 2017
  • 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM
  • Dispute Resolution Center,
Our speaker for the August AAM meeting will be Elly van Laar.

When we support others, through listening and reflecting to improve understanding, we might become distracted by our own feelings, beliefs or issues that arise. This is the difference between empathy, defined as "respectful understanding", and sympathy, defined as "what arises internally in the listener that is triggered by the stimulus of listening"?

When we mediate and listen to build understanding, our goal is to explore and understand the speaker; to bring attention and clarity to the speaker's experience, guessing needs and interests. If we are triggered by what we are hearing from the speaker, we get distracted and are less effective listeners. Instead of staying focused on what the speaker is saying, we are absorbed by our own triggers.

Nonviolent Communication offers practical tools to use our sympathetic triggers in a constructive way. In this presentation Elly van Laar will share her insights on feelings and needs from NVC and we will practice distinguishing between what we are hearing from what is arising within us when we hear it. We will also learn to support ourselves when what arises within us interferes with our ability to be present. We’ll explore options for this self-care to be effective at bringing us back to the quality of listening needed to be an effective mediator.

Elly van Laar is a coach. She specializes in helping professionals nourish relationships and self-care.

For 20+ years, Elly has helped individuals, couples and organizations deepen compassion and empathy skills, bridge differences, and find solutions that benefit all parties. Elly is a speaker and blogger on Nonviolent Communication, mindfulness, and conflict resolution.

Elly has a Masters in Political Science from Leiden University in the Netherlands. She has nine years of training with Nonviolent Communication teachers and six years of teaching Nonviolent Communication. She belongs to Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Blossom mindfulness community, volunteers at the Austin Dispute Resolution Center and is a member of Amnesty International since 1980.

And if she is not coaching? Then you can find her on her meditation cushion, visiting friends and family in the Netherlands, trying new vegan recipes, juggling, or, hanging out with her fan and teacher, her husband David Nayer.

To find out more about Elly visit www.ellyvanlaar.com.

The meeting will begin at 11:30 am for networking and the one-hour presentation will begin at 12:00. One (1.0) hours of CE credit is available to attendees.

This event is free of charge to all interested people, with a light lunch provided. For non-AAM members, a $5 donation for lunch is suggested.

We look forward to seeing you there!

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